today’s ride 🚋
midwestern haikus: real existential crisis hours, baby 😎
deep dish with nish: how to find your ‘spot’
keeping on track: let yourself free!
thanks for being here!
— nish ✍🏽
wet rock theory 101
i've been thinking about wet rock theory lately, mainly because i almost had a full nervous breakdown in jewel osco the other day trying to decide if it was worth the extra $2 to get the protein soymilk.
i stood there running cost-per-ounce vs. gram of protein per serving, and ended up staring blankly at the carton as i contemplated oblivion.
how did we get there, you ask? it runs a bit like this:
okay so we need some non-dairy milk (sensitive tummy gang where you at?) to throw in the coffee —> you know, my LDL is still a bit high so i should probably get the unsweetened milk —> oh cool they have a high protein one, but it’s a little bit more expensive —> is $2 gonna break the bank? we’re saving for a down payment and maybe a wedding, i don’t know —> it’s crazy that rent is due again in like a week, damn —> we just spend a lot of our lives paying to have some walls and a roof —> that’s what jobs are for, i guess —> wild that my ancestors could not imagine what paying taxes might even mean —> what did they do for fun? —> what came before them? —> they probably had random thoughts too and now they just… don’t exist —> i’m having thoughts right now and woah, one day i won’t —> i just poof out of here, we all do —> i wonder if in 1,000 years my future kin will ponder what my routines were —> i wonder if this planet will even be here in 1,000 years —> holy shit i am just here, on a planet right now —> outside of this globe there is the galaxy and then so much empty space —> and then i guess there’s andromeda —> and then what? more empty space? —> oh, oops, so sorry miss lady i didn’t mean to be in your way, please go ahead and grab your milk, my bad.
we are ants floating on a wet rock hurtling through the vast expanse of nothingness, and we still worry about what brand to buy, what picture to post, whether our boss likes us, if we are if we are perceived as cool enough.
that’s wet rock theory, my friend. a reminder that nothing matters. i don't say this to be nihilistic about it. it's not that nothing matters at all because then why live life??? nothing matters in the way we're treating it. your job matters to pay the bills, but unless you are a doctor or something, it’s pretty meaningless.
quick, tell me who was the most important creative director of the bronze age? who founded the roman empire? shakespeare is famous as hell, wrote 150+ sonnets, and even bro has been reduced to like 3 of them.
NOTHING. MATTERS. you will most likely be forgotten within two to three decades of your passing, and that’s the short of it. this is my mantra as often as i can remember to say it.
we are ants floating on a wet rock hurtling through the vast expanse of nothingness, and we still worry about what brand to buy, what picture to post, whether our boss likes us, if we are perceived as cool enough.
live your life with all that forward-facing. there’s a way the light hits lake shore drive in july if you time the drive right. there’s a joy in my grandma’s voice when i remember to call her. sure, you have a deadline to hit. sure, you wish you looked better in that photo. sure, you could tweak that line or that note to make a better piece of art. none of that matters more than the fact that you get, at absolute best, ninety summers, and you just spent forty minutes wondering “will this get enough likes on instagram?”
i know we can’t live our entire lives with the weight of existentialism hanging over our heads. that is also its own kind of hell, but we must allow ourselves space to recognize we are just creatures bumbling around like idiots on this hunk of junk, and if there is a point to it, that maybe the point is just to enjoy being alive while we get the chance to do it.
deep dish with nish:
from our last haiku, one of you asked: “there are so many small spots to try around me, how do i know which one is worth it?”
you don’t, my friend! that’s the beauty and the mystery of life! sometimes you do have to be let down, disappointed, and disgruntled. it makes finding those gems in the rough all the more tantalizing and satisfying! if we were meant to experience joy and perfection every single second of our lives, how boring of an existence that would be.
take a chance on anything! my suggestion? the more faded the signs are, the better!
(send in your questions to [email protected] and maybe your question will be the star of the next newsletter!)
keeping on track:
this week’s song is "who knows who cares” by local natives, indie rock legends who know a little bit about taking life as it comes.
i know this one’s a true #oldie, but every few years i come back to it because local natives just kind of get it.
a lot of their lyrics and music remind me of buddhism, which is a faith system i’ve also always enjoyed for how much it harps on the state of suffering and the constant impermanence of our condition.
say you’re tired, you lay down. but you can’t lay down forever because you’ll get stiff and sore. so then you stand up, which feels nice! but after a few hours your feet hurt. so you sit down. ahh! how nice! but alas, the spine starts whining.
there is no permanent state of peace. we must always move through some state of suffering, anxiety, etc.
change, and the experience of it, defines our path forwards. what that path is? maybe it’s not for us to really know.
lyrics i love:
you could let it down, jump into the river, baby
easy as it sounds, it's never quite as easily done
the current has us now, it's ok
take into account that it's all about to change
who knows? who cares?
this must be my exit
honestly? "theory" oversells it a little. a theory wants to be tested, defended, maybe even proven wrong, plus i’m also not that smart. this “theory” isn’t trying to be right, nor is it trying to explain the universe. rather, it’s a way of thinking that refuses to let the universe's actual size slip your mind for too long.
i don’t want to "believe" in wet rock theory the way i believe in gravity. i remember it, lose it here and there, and remember it again, probably forty times a week, usually mid-spiral over something that isn't actually an emergency.
if you don’t want to send in a question for deep dish with nish but still have thoughts, comments, concerns for my mental well-being after seeing this existential spiral caught on keyboard, talk to me! i love mail, even when it’s ‘e’.
liked what you read? tell someone about it! that beats me vagueposting into the void trying to fight an algorithm! 🤖
as always though, thanks for being here. 🙏
warmly,
nish
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